It 'been said over and over again that for a child to learn, above all, the lessons it has with the example, are not shown by words. And if we want to encourage certain traits within our children, we must first develop these qualities in us.
I'm teaching the martial art for children for a decade and a half, and I discovered something amazing about children - they want to learn what is expected of them. For all 'button-pressing "Resistance as you wishI do not know what the children the rules and have a deep, almost inherent, need to "do the right thing."
Unfortunately, I also discovered that many parents who bring their children to our programs live by two deep desires. And even if they express their desire to develop their child more confidence, discipline and respect - not for the ability to take the risks that they can speak, to protect the world are almost always the defaultthese desires, even if it means that the child can not develop these important characteristics and abilities.
What are these requests?
1) that their child is never angry with them, and,
2) that have nothing to say "No".
It is true for all parents? Of course not. But it is true for many.
Even without these words, the message is loud and clear when it comes in the following forms:
"You do not want to come to classand I will not force it. "
"Really," I say. "Why not?"
"Excuse me?" If the answer. "I do not understand."
"Well," I add, "you do not do other things to do, do," "I'm sure you brush your teeth every day they go to school, even if she does not want to say, and probably a dozen other items that each day, is not it? "
"Yes, but it's different," is often the answer.
"Different?" I wonder, "Why?" "I do not think it isimportant? "" It is still important today as the first day he took and said he needed to learn to be safe and to protect themselves? "
Here's another one that my staff and I listen regularly.
"I do not want my son a year (or 3 years) to start the program. This is too long for someone his age. He does not know what they want"
Also here is my answer that the parents there is something missing in the logic, it is logical that the guide to all that is.
"Your child isSchool? "I ask.
"Of course," comes the reply.
"To think that training is important and remains a considerable amount of time to prepare to take your child for the real world?"
"Yes, I do not see what he has to do with karate classes."
"It 's all to do with karate classes, because this is a training system. One does not put your child in school or from a textbook. And what he learned here in the kind of confidence, discipline, pride , respect andSkills are right for what will be, on any other part of his life for the rest of his life. "
Once again, I hear, "But this is different."
"How?" I ask. "He will go to school for the next eleven to thirteen, not counting college. And I'm sure that will follow him, even on days when he does not want. You have all the right reasons, to explain why this is important, right? No, sir, this is no different. And 'exactly the same. And ifto learn its meaning for your child to the lessons that led him here to learn, is less important if he wants it or not. And as for him not knowing what he wants, this is what we, as parents and teachers here, it is not. To provide leadership opportunities and give our children what they need, even if it is not what they want. "
The actress Bette Davis was quoted as saying. "If you've never been hated by your child you never had a father" I believe this because II think my work is not a friend of my son, but his short life, mentor and teacher to face the challenges. If I do not, then who? And also there is plenty of time for his girlfriend after they become adult, had the same experiences in the world and can relate to adult level. It 's a big difference between "friendly" and as "friends."
For many, I'm sure all this hard, and many people think that I'm sure, are alreadyread all stopped. My point is simple. We teach parents and educators of their children, regardless is not the words to teach, whether they open their mouths and say.
If we teach our children what is important, not only what feels good ...
... Even if we try to teach them the value of engaging in a rewarding, because it's worth, not only because it is convenient or easy ...
... Even if we teach them not quitters in the gameLife ...
... We do not need to teach the lessons, whether we like this or not.
How else can we possibly teach our children and practice, things like commitment if there are opportunities for them to never commit or allow them to stop because something is not fun? When was the last time our creditors was more we could pay the bills, because it was not funny?
Edward, the English monarch once commented in a condescending way that weWe try to do because American parents obey their children rather than vice versa. After seeing and a half decades, helping parents to help their children do not know if he is right, but I know that parents are more involved in the development of their child, regardless of the daily whims of the child - are generally more in success - this unit is so fast that they do not want the same things from moment to moment, let alone change from year to yearAdults to be proud when their children grow. And 'this requires commitment, education, and other lessons, and the WHO are blessed with a child growing up hundreds well into adulthood, it can commit, and others can be assured that "there" when the going gets tough .
Can you imagine? What a world we would, if fulfilled, we should all live as a person like this.
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